I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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