Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
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Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
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I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize