I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize