Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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