The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
