Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize
