What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
