We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
