It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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