I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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