Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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