i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
