based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
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