i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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