Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
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