grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
