did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
