wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
