You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
