We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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