when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
