maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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