i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
