yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
