just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
did i walk over a car last night?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
