Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I know her cup size but not her name....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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