I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
