a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
