She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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