Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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