i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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