Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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