We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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