Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
