hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
