dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i believe in u and ur pee
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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