Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The Olympian is in my bed
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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