You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize