guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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