we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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