He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize