i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
