By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
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She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
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Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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