just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
