what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
