if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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