So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize