I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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