I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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