I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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