He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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