Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
