Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
