i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
