So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
