Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
