I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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