Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
