I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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